Blogsoft® : Blogging made simple.

Many of you have asked me, “Just how do you do it”? How do I keep cranking out post after post, and where do I get the material? I am frequently asked, “Is there more than one person doing the writing”? A few of you have suspected that I wasn’t doing the writing all by myself. Those few of you that might have suspected this, you guys were on to something, except it wasn’t quite what you were expecting.

For the last several months, I have been the official tester for revolutionary new software called Blogsoft®. This software was developed by a partnership between Microsoft® and Blogspot®. Today is the first day that this groundbreaking software package is available to the public, and for only $59.99 per copy.

Blogsoft® is the answer to every blogger’s question, “What will I write about now”? There will never again be a day, where you have to come up short of a post. No frantic search for material, and there is no need to run yet another meme.

Blogsoft® is extremely simple to set up and in just minutes, you will be up and blogging, and after the initial set up, you will never have to sit at your computer to blog again. It’s entirely voice-activated, fully automatic, and will start up your computer whenever you schedule it to run.

If you have a political blog, you merely tell Blogsoft® “political”. Blogsoft® will then prompt you,“left”, “right”, or “libertarian”. After you have selected your preferred political affiliation, you just tell Blogsoft® exactly how many posts you wish to run each day. Blogsoft® immediately starts scanning the major news stories of the day, and Blogsoft® slaps together a post from what it has collected from the headlines, and Blogsoft® even drafts up a post using your preferred political slant. Blogsoft® automatically inserts words in your post like “moonbat” or “asshat”. It’s just like the real thing!

I personally assure you, that you won’t ever have to worry that everyone else will be running Blogsoft®. If you are worried that all of your posts will be extremely similar, well that’s the way things are right now, and it doesn’t seem to bother anybody, does it?

If you have a political humor blog, you just tell Blogsoft at the appropriate prompt, “ politics and humor”, in addition to scanning the headlines, Blogsoft will automatically download pictures, open your PhotoShop® program, and Blogsoft® starts cutting and pasting for you. If on that particular day, Dick Cheney is making an ass of himself, Blogsoft® will automatically cut out Dick Cheney’s head, and paste it on a mule’s body, or it might do something clever, like superimposing a gun in Cheney’s hand. No further effort from you is required!

If you have a purely humorous blog, just say “humor” at the appropriate prompt, and then advise Blogsoft®, whether you wish to use graphics or not. Blogsoft® will take care of all the rest, and an essay will be cranked out on schedule, complete with lifts from famous dead comedians.

If you have a largely esoteric blog, or for an example, a recipe blog, just tell Blogsoft® the appropriate category, and it’s off and running, frantically swiping material from any place that Google® will go. You will amaze your friends, and confound your enemies. If you do not wind up winning a Pulitzer®, at the very least, the New York Times® will hire you.

Blogsoft® even has its own visitation function, that will automatically visit all of your linked sites, and randomly leave comments such as “Great post!” or “ HA! HA! HA! HA!”. There’s even a setting called “Meanness Factor®”, where if it’s set high enough, it will visit other sites, and hurl epithets and keep repeating the same dogma over and over, just like the real thing! No one will ever be aware that it's not really you droning on in their comment box. I have personally watched it carry on a flame war for hours!

Don’t sweat coming up with new material, or visiting linked sites anymore. Now you can spend the quality time you’ve always wanted, down in your basement watching old porn films, or standing on a street corner yelling at passing cars. Get Blogsoft® today, and get yourself a life!

Halliburton sponsors today’s funny, not funny words: monotony.

Today's sampling of black comedy and parody laced with satire and bogus philosophy as well as pseudo politics, was brought to you by the makers of Blogsoft®

Reverend Billy Gisher is the author of “Less People Less Idiots®”, and a guest blogger of "Those Bastards®", who aspires to full Bastardom®. Help the world to eliminate idiots, contribute your time here.