Where’s Mrs. Waldo’s clitoris?

Father Guido Sarducci, (who is filling in for Reverend Gisher, at the request of the Vatican), will deliver today’s sermon.

Allo everybody, I ’ope you all are doing just’a fine. If you have a been a reading deese a posts, you know I have a been appointed Vatican Special Envoy for a sexual education. My a job, itza to make a sure, that you a people are having as much sexual a congress as you can get, and you a producing tons of a Catholic babies for de a Pope. Today, today I’m a gonna a talk a to a you a men, about you a wife’s enjoyment of a sexual a congress.

If you a wife, if you make a sure she gets de big a fireworks show, when you a have sexual a congress, she will a want to have sexual a congress a much more often. Which increases de a chances that she a get a bun in de oven.

How do you a do this? You make a sure you pay much attention to you wife’s a clitoris. If you a don’t, itza like going to a pub, and a spending all a night adjusting de chairs at you a table, when all you a came for was a drink. You a not a getting you a business a done.

I a not a gonna a tell you what a de a clitoris, what it a looks a like, or what you a do with de a clitoris when you a find it. I’m mean a come on, I am a justa priest. What do I a look like to a you, some a kind of a Dr. Ruth? No I have a better a idea for a you.

You’d take a youself to de a library, and you a ask de a librarian, where a they keep a de books about de a clitoris. That should a make a de librarian’s a day. Unless you a live in a Arkansas, or in a Alabama, most of de a libraries will have a books on de a subject of de a clitoris.

If you a educate youself on a de a clitoris, and you a pay as much attention to you a wife’s a clitoris as you a do to you a tiny a Johnson, you a wife will be a all over a you like a white on a rice. The more you a wife wants a sexual a congress, de more de a chances you a wife, she gets a pregnant, and this a make a de a Pope a very a happy a man, and to a me, itza a job a security.



Halliburton sponsors today’s funny, not funny word: forplay.

Today's sampling of black comedy and parody laced with satire and bogus philosophy as well as pseudo politics, was brought to you by the Catholic Church, who asks you to just keep a thumpin’ and a bumpin’.

Reverend Billy Gisher is the author of “Less People Less Idiots”, and a guest blogger of "Those Bastards", who aspires to full Bastardom. Help the world to eliminate idiots, contribute your time here.