Lack of anal sex PSA
Sorry about the title, but this week’s theme was sex, and I don’t think I’ve covered that one. Speaking of weirdness, I have been tagged by Wonder Woman, it is not everyday you can say that. I absolutely cannot stand to be tagged, not that there is anything at all wrong with that, it’s just that I have barely enough time as it is. However, it was Wonder Woman that asked me to do this, so I will comply with the request.
The purpose of this particular tag job, was to identify the five weirdest things about you. And while I know that virtually everyone on the planet thinks that I’m one of the weirdest individuals that they have ever encountered, in reality, I may be one of the most boring individuals to ever walk the planet. This is actually quite a common theme that I have observed, frequently those who seem to be the most exciting on the surface, are quite often the most boring individuals, once you begin to peel the lawyers back. Those who come with what seems to be a plain vanilla wrapper, are often more decadent and wild than you can even begin to imagine. So if you will keep that in mind I will start my list of the five weirdest things about me:
1) I cannot get enough of Mr. Bungle. Stranger still, it is his music that actually attracts me to him. And his music may perhaps be the weirdest part about him. His lyrics and gags are frequently sophomoric, and are quite often crude. While I can clearly state that most of these things provoked snickers, his odd explorations of the treble and bass clef, never fail to entertain me.
2) When there doesn’t appear to be a chance in hell, that is when I show up, that is when my fangs and claws come out. Not when things are easy, no I like to go after it when it seems impossible to overcome what’s standing in front of me. I do not think that this has anything to do with liking a challenge, as I see so little of this around me, it must be weird.
3) Perhaps the weirdest thing about me is my parents, and perhaps my rebellion best explains why I am so boring. My mother once used a leaf blower, to run a renegade band of Mexicans off of what she describes as her beach. My mother once drew a 45 caliber pistol on a Girl Scout who was attempting to sell her cookies. A mother who was a major activist for women’s rights, was a very successful lawyer, raised me to view women as equals or superiors, raised me to view all humans as equals, but fell down and had a seizure, when I informed her I was dating a black woman. My father, on the outside at least, was extraordinarily well groomed, presented himself as a gentleman, and was loved by all who knew him. Since he is no longer with us, and cannot defend himself, I will say only that he managed to make Caligula, look like Charlie Brown.
4) Despite my love for the Catholic Church, for some reason I am frequently motivated to roll down the window on my car, and yell editorial comments, as I drive past a Catholic Church. (as if the building would be listening to me.)
5) I am extremely fond of animals and have spent most of my life attempting to save them. Frequently wild animals who do not normally exhibit such behavior, will walk right up to me. Despite these facts, there’s not been one single pet in my household for years, and I think it’s very weird.
There will be another post coming up shortly, in keeping with the theme of the week, naturally it will be about sex. Did I tell you this was national cold shower week? I’m still working on rearranging the links, and I’ve carefully tried to make sure that during all the shuffling, that nobody’s link was inadvertently dropped, if you visit the site, and notice your link is missing, do not take offense. Just notify me that this has occurred and I will be more than happy to correct the situation. Now I suppose I have to continue this stupid little tag deal, so here goes, let’s make this really interesting. Chico, I think has the potential to be perhaps the weirdest individual I’ve ever known, so I’m tagging you Chico. I will not tag four more people, and very likely will ignore it if anybody tags me again in the next month. How’s that for weird?
The purpose of this particular tag job, was to identify the five weirdest things about you. And while I know that virtually everyone on the planet thinks that I’m one of the weirdest individuals that they have ever encountered, in reality, I may be one of the most boring individuals to ever walk the planet. This is actually quite a common theme that I have observed, frequently those who seem to be the most exciting on the surface, are quite often the most boring individuals, once you begin to peel the lawyers back. Those who come with what seems to be a plain vanilla wrapper, are often more decadent and wild than you can even begin to imagine. So if you will keep that in mind I will start my list of the five weirdest things about me:
1) I cannot get enough of Mr. Bungle. Stranger still, it is his music that actually attracts me to him. And his music may perhaps be the weirdest part about him. His lyrics and gags are frequently sophomoric, and are quite often crude. While I can clearly state that most of these things provoked snickers, his odd explorations of the treble and bass clef, never fail to entertain me.
2) When there doesn’t appear to be a chance in hell, that is when I show up, that is when my fangs and claws come out. Not when things are easy, no I like to go after it when it seems impossible to overcome what’s standing in front of me. I do not think that this has anything to do with liking a challenge, as I see so little of this around me, it must be weird.
3) Perhaps the weirdest thing about me is my parents, and perhaps my rebellion best explains why I am so boring. My mother once used a leaf blower, to run a renegade band of Mexicans off of what she describes as her beach. My mother once drew a 45 caliber pistol on a Girl Scout who was attempting to sell her cookies. A mother who was a major activist for women’s rights, was a very successful lawyer, raised me to view women as equals or superiors, raised me to view all humans as equals, but fell down and had a seizure, when I informed her I was dating a black woman. My father, on the outside at least, was extraordinarily well groomed, presented himself as a gentleman, and was loved by all who knew him. Since he is no longer with us, and cannot defend himself, I will say only that he managed to make Caligula, look like Charlie Brown.
4) Despite my love for the Catholic Church, for some reason I am frequently motivated to roll down the window on my car, and yell editorial comments, as I drive past a Catholic Church. (as if the building would be listening to me.)
5) I am extremely fond of animals and have spent most of my life attempting to save them. Frequently wild animals who do not normally exhibit such behavior, will walk right up to me. Despite these facts, there’s not been one single pet in my household for years, and I think it’s very weird.
There will be another post coming up shortly, in keeping with the theme of the week, naturally it will be about sex. Did I tell you this was national cold shower week? I’m still working on rearranging the links, and I’ve carefully tried to make sure that during all the shuffling, that nobody’s link was inadvertently dropped, if you visit the site, and notice your link is missing, do not take offense. Just notify me that this has occurred and I will be more than happy to correct the situation. Now I suppose I have to continue this stupid little tag deal, so here goes, let’s make this really interesting. Chico, I think has the potential to be perhaps the weirdest individual I’ve ever known, so I’m tagging you Chico. I will not tag four more people, and very likely will ignore it if anybody tags me again in the next month. How’s that for weird?
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posted by rev. billy bob gisher ©2008 at 4:30 AM
12 Comments:
I am honored that you would make such an exception for me! Must be that magic lasso ;)
And just between you and me...I don't yell at churches, but I have been known to blurt out a belligerent word or 2 at a government building.
Oh I know I am crazy as hell, but I really am just plain boring. It took a life of drama, to forge one really happy guy, who loves the quiet. This blog is the noisiest thing in my life now. THANK GOD.
that was great!!! funny i just noticed the charlie brown reference you made and i commented "you're a good man charlie brown" in the previous post.... i never usually think about charlie brown... or use him in a sentence... weird.
i am with you on #2. some of my best moments in life have been when i have triumphed over adversity and risen from the ashes.
YOu think you had it rough with your parents?
My mother used a snowblower once to try and get the grey out of her hair.
lingo stuff like the CB thing has been happening alot lately. bunch of us on the same page, or something bigger?
i wouldn't say rough jim, but wierd.
Your Mother pulled a gun on a girlscout?!
Were the cookies really that bad?
Actually, you're not alone in having a strange mother who victimises girlscouts (over here they're called girl guides). After all, they're a paramilitary organisation, right? We should be keeping an eye on them, in the light of certain developments, shouldn't we?
My mum once ran over a whole troop of girl guides in a stolen JCB digger. She admitted later in court that she was just after my sister's blood, but she was so drunk that they all looked the same anyway.
The judge looked on her quite kindly, and the next day she was back at her job driving the bus for the old people's home.
-tch- Parents, eh?
similar moms, explains alot steve.
Oh yah, like i really have time to be knockin' out this kinda shit, too, heh, rev? well, i'm phoning this one in...collect...
1. I have a foot fetish
2. I like sardines
3. I sucked my thumb until I was fifteen (at least this is the age I’m admitting to)
4. I still read Dr. Seuss
5. I’m a progressive secular humanist
i know man, i sent it to you to kill it. and thanks for killing it. it kinda crawled into an area, where people are a bit busy.
I'm all for promoting butt sex, but a proper disclaimer is required before attempting such oddities.
Mr. Bungle's sound and approach is a unique mix of gay black anal the experimental,
the abstract, and the absurd (in other words, the finer things in life).
It all began in 1985, in a small California town named Eureka.
The group (bassist Trevor Dunn
, drummer Danny Heifetz).
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