Ambidextrous

There seems to be an increase in the frequency of times I am asked; “Are you a conservative, (or) Are you a liberal?” Depending upon your perspective, one day my posts may seem to lean to the left, the next day’s post may appear to tilt to the right. At first I found this somewhat flattering, that some people couldn’t pin me down, but in other ways, it troubles me that I am asked these questions. It makes me worry about our future here on the little brown ball.

Maybe when you were a kid, you wanted to grow up to be a liberal. You spent every day of your life reading op-ed opinions from liberal newspapers with a twinkle in your eye, and you longed for the day that someone would describe you as “weak on defense.”

Perhaps, you felt differently as a child and secretly, you would sneak out of the house to watch John Wayne movies. Your biggest moment in life would be the day someone handed you a John Birch Society membership card, or the moment someone accused you of being “insensitive to the plight of the poor”.

Me personally, I wanted to grow up to be an astronaut, then a poet, next a preacher, followed later by a rock star, and finally, a vinyl siding salesman. (We all have our dreams, and who are you to snort at mine?) Not one single moment, did the thought ever enter my head, that I wanted to grow up to be myopic. Not that I haven’t found myself there several times, although rarely when I was sober.

As time passed, I made many mistakes, and I kept making some of them repeatedly. I have left a trail of wreckage behind me, from acts brought about by extreme misjudgments, and who knows, I may produce more wreckage down the road. I have never been perfect, and have long since given up on ever attaining that status. I make mistakes daily, like a crack addict going for yet another fix. There is one thing I have avoided all these years though, and may God help me, I will never be labeled, pigeonholed, or find myself dancing behind other lemmings.

I will evaluate every issue one at a time, and gather all the information on the subject I can find. I will apply logic and all the common sense I can muster to decide what I think about each issue, and I will not ask or wait for some association to tell me what I should think. I might become bolder about it than I am now, and stop being as nice to people that would dare ask me to draw my line in the sand. Maybe the next time somebody asks me which side I am on, I will pause for a second, and then answer, “The one with the wet spot.”



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